Saying the Wrong Thing

Photo by Abigail Keenan

What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever said? I remember mine — I asked a lovely lady when she was due. She was not pregnant, of course. You can imagine the rest.

Hopefully, you don’t make blunders like mine very often. But you may have gotten looks from your loved ones which convey, loud and clear, that you have said the wrong thing. You may rack your brain, trying to figure out why it has touched a nerve, but it is not always clear. It is the lousiest feeling, isn’t it? Hurting the ones we love when we don’t mean to.

Now, think of the times when you are on the receiving end; when you expect your loved ones to lift you up but they put you down instead. Does it make more sense now how that could happen?

How well we express ourselves under stress depends on how well we manage our own anxiety. Anxiety may be the reason why you criticize rather than encourage when your son tells you he is failing in school. Anxiety may be the reason why your mother says, “This is just a rough patch,” when you tell her about your depression. There are usually good intentions underneath. They are just mired in anxiety.